Confrontation has a bad reputation. We consider it both, obnoxious and ineffective. And for the most part that is absolutely true, but for every truth there is an exception.
In this episode,
I explore the exception to the rule and call it the
“Upside of Confrontation”, aka, This Unruly Intervention’s Positive Attributes +++
To get to the Upside, we must first clarify the Downside, so you can stay on track and keep moving forward.
3 Notable Downsides
1- If this is your only way to manage conflict it will weaken your authority. Read: people begin to both expect your rants and thus ignore you.
2- The person you are confronting might seek retaliation.
3-It is a less than perfect role model for how-to manage conflict, because it is rarely done well.
4-Confrontation doesn’t provide an exit.
What is an exit? Find out more via Episode 30-Pt13-Create Exits
Upside to Confrontation:
Sometimes it works!
A well-placed confrontation requires perfect timing. The following are 3-key elements to using this technique well.
1-Make sure you can keep yourself safe, if you become a target of aggression, after confronting someone.
2-Be clear and concise with your statements.
3-Act without ego, as your driver.
When do I use confrontation?
When a person is being bullied
When I see an injustice
Make sure you are speaking an authentic truth, like I did in episode 31-Pt14- Give Conflict an Action. In that episode I asked the angry young man to “Walk with me. Please”, but before that point when the crowd was gathering and wanted to see a fight, I began chanting “No fighting here, there are children.” It was both a direct message and an authentic truth that is hard to argue.
Listen to this episode now and hear my background story of a Confrontation that worked.