The silver lining of using civility during a crisis intervention, is that it takes people by surprise. They don’t expect you to be gracious when you are intervening during a crisis. Thus we open the door to communication in the best of ways: by being kind and civil.
“Excuse me”, “Thank you” & “Please” are understated words that mean so much. Sure we use these words and phrases in our day-to-day interactions, but when conflict strikes civility stops.
Make Civility Work for you by practicing your social graces even when tempers are flaring. It won’t easy at first saying, “Excuse me” to two people who are fighting. Initially it is counterintuitive, but over time and with practice it becomes easey peasey!
If they turn you way or shift their eyes towards you after you say “Excuse me” you can follow up with a
“Thank you for listening”
Certainly it feels better than screaming and shouting, “Stop that!” or “Hey! Cut that out.”
With a little bit of practice we can open the door to communication by letting Civility Work for us.
Here are a few phrases that we use in the Response Curriculum as a starting point for teaching Civility, Kindness and Situational Alliance.
Listen to the podcast and get the fuller picture for making Civility Work for you.